"Affection is responsible for nine-tenths of whatever solid and durable happiness there is in our lives." - C.S. Lewis

Here's to another night of trying to really push myself to stay awake. I haven't had my morning coffee in nine days, and the prospect of another morning without it makes me want to never even fall asleep so that I don't have to try to wake up without it.

Yes, I've been waking up at one in the afternoon because of this. Oh, how little time I have left to be so wasteful.

I am absurdly hot right now but only using the sheets on my bed. At least it helps me stay awake. I don't know if opening my window on a summer night would make things better or worse - at least I'd get to hear the night sounds, which is generally better and less conducive to my nighttime paranoia than silence.

Having so much alone time lately forces me to think. I try to fill my time with Sex and the City or Facebook, but apparently my mind is incredibly capable of fighting off shallow, fluffy things and bombarding me with "bigger picture" issues, such as the Anti-Homosexuality bill in Uganda (which makes me sick to my stomach) or gender roles or small-minded religion (and my open-minded pride).

Sometimes I wish I could turn my brain off and not think so much.